Life jokes
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
Why can't orphans see their parents?
Because they don't have one!
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
My life.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
Little Johnny died.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Why are orphans so bad at football?
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”