Life jokes
Little Johnny died.
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.
But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today, and I have to...
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: 'Cause they can’t get back to home.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
My life, part 2.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
What’s the difference between me and grass? Grass doesn’t cut itself.
Why are orphans so bad at football?
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Why doesn’t my bully get a dad joke? Oh, ya, ummm...
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!