Life jokes
My kid had an accident.
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
What’s an orphan's favorite food?
: Not home food.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime.
Monster: “I will devour your family.”
Orphan: “Oh.”
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What's the most annoying thing in the world?
When you're told you're still qualified to live.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.