Life jokes
What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!
And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.
Why did the mailman die?
'Cause everyone dies.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Memes
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
My life </3 XD :'(
My friend's life.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Who's an orphan?
You are.
Moment and I
What type of flower do you give an orphan?
A self-raising [flour].
What do you call a kid that lives alone?
An orphan. ;)
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.