Life jokes
You wanna hear an orphan joke?
Okay, here it goes:
You.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
YouTubers: Among Us in real life.
Bin Laden: Angry Birds in real life.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
The joke is me.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Being an orphan is crazy and fuck gay people.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.