Life jokes
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
Yo life so miserable, the adoption center wouldn't sell you, just give you away!
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
I put the fun in funeral.
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Your mama is so old, she made a book bigger than the Bible about her life.
What goes up but never comes down?
What does an orphan's life and a pseudoword have in common?
They both have no meaning.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.