Life jokes
[concert] SINGER: How's everyone doin' tonight? CROWD: Woo! ME (from the back in a normal speaking voice): It's actually been a tough few months.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
Has anyone alive ever died?
Is this our eternal life?
What does the f in orphan stand for? Family.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.
Haha, the joke is me.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”