Law jokes
"He scratched his face up, detective. That did it."
"Did I do that?"
My grandfather has the heart of a lion!! đŚ
In a jar on his desk along with a lifetime ban from the zoo...
Why didn't Donald Trump pick up his phone when Jeffrey Epstein called him?
Because Donald killed Jeffrey Epstein in prison to hide the evidence.
It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
Memes
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his rap sheet!
Why did the DJ go to jail?
Because he dropped the bass too hard!
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
What do you call an ass thatâs a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldnât you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Whatâs worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dadâs wedding ring.