Law jokes

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.

Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.

So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.

Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

If you give a prostitute money, you will go to jail, but if you give a prostitute a Klondike bar, you will not go to jail. I would rather go to the casino and get more money for my buck.

Child predators: "You're so six-y."

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

I went home and I saw my friend kissing my sister. I said, "What’s going on?" They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said, "Alright."

The next morning, I see my friend kissing my mom. I said, "What’s going here?" They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me, "I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift, I’m your best friend. 2 gift, I’m your new brother-in-law. 3 gift, I’m your new stepfather." I felt so happy I had a friend that [is] looking out for me.

When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?

My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.

Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

How do you sex?

With penis!

Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!

Cruel and unusual punishment.

My life is so meaningless that I committed a crime just to get shot. 0-0

This is not a joke; this is just about death...

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

Why did the pedophile cross the road?

To get to the other preschool.