Law jokes

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

If her age is on the timer, I don't care if she's a minor.

What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!

How to get rich:

Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.

Step 2: Knock out the orphan.

Step 3: Cut open the orphan.

Step 4: Well there [are] organs.

Step 5: Do it again.

And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.

It's impossible to rape a rapeist because rapeists want sex.

What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!

Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?

To block traffic.

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson in a playground.

Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.

If a lawyer gives birth to a stillborn baby, is it considered a miscarriage of justice?

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

I killed a man in '94.

Person: You can't kill an orphan!

Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?

Why did the kidnapper cross the road?

To get the kids at the playground.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To improve his rap sheet!

Why did the DJ go to jail?

Because he dropped the bass too hard!