Law jokes
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
I went to jail because I gave the orphan kid a calendar with 363 days.
(I deleted Mother's Day and Father's Day.)
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
There were three men in a car: the driver, a homeless man, and a rapper. The driver takes them to the woods and says, "I'm not really a cab driver, I'm a wanted killer." The homeless man says, "I'm not really homeless," and pulls out a chain. The rapper says, "If we're gonna be completely honest, I'm not a rapper, I'm a cop!"
Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
Bill Cosplay
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"