Law jokes
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
What did Jay Z say when he got pulled over?
"I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one!"
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
It's not easy to make good pedophilia jokes, because it's a very touchy subject.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
Why can't orphans be kidnapped?
Because most kidnappers use a family van.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
What's the difference between a criminal and an orphan?
One is wanted and one's not.
Why did an orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
Yo momma so fat, when she said, "Order in the court," she really meant burgers and fries.