Law jokes
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.
When's the best day to get the chair? Fry-day.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.
The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation? A period. Why? Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.