Law jokes
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Win a free ride in a police car! Just pick up a knife and use it!
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
What do you call an ass that’s a DETECTIVE?
An undercover pooper.
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
I killed a man in '94.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Weed: *gets hit by his own power*
Cop: Wait, shouldn’t you be resistant to your own element?
Weed: Are you resistant to bullets when you shoot a gun?
I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.
Why did the kidnapper cross the road?
To get the kids at the playground.
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.