Law jokes
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Memes
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
Why was the duck arrested?
Because it was caught selling quack.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
What do you call an adopted orphan?
Wanted.
Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.
Why can't an orphan go to school?
They have no one to sign the parent signature.
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.