Law jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
What’s the hardest part about being a PEDO?
Fitting in.
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.