Law jokes
So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Memes
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
Why can't an orphan get a vaccine?
They need parental permission.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.