Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Law Jokes
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What is a woman doing with an empty sheet?
Reading her rights!
