Law jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
Why should you always wear rubber?
So you don’t leave DNA evidence.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!