Law jokes

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.

What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.

When is a rape victim right?

When she admits she lied.

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner is wanted!

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Babe, I'm breaking up with you.

Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

How do people grade pedophiles?

1st grade to 8th grade.

(I know it's orphan jokes but still)

What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?

One is wanted.

Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.