Law jokes
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."