Law jokes

You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.

It's okay, you had socks on :)

Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...

What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?

He raped her.

I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣

What is George Floyd's pickup line?

You are breathtaking.

I was gonna tell a joke about a dead fetus, but I decided to abort it.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.

Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.

There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.

What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.

What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.

When is a rape victim right?

When she admits she lied.

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

Banker: I have the right to take your money!

Me: Check my name.

Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?

Banker: *realizes*

Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

1, 2, I have a gun.

3, 4, I am in a school.

5, 6, Everyone on the ground!