Law jokes
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have little boy's pants 1⁄2 off...