Law jokes
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Justice for all!
I figure it's ok to hit orphans.
What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Memes
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.