Law jokes
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Memes
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they can’t be wanted.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
What does a lawyer defending a killer and a password have in common? They're case sensitive.
Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.
Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
If you’re bored, go punch an orphan. What are the parents gonna do?
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”