Law jokes
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;