Law jokes
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Memes
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?
A book has papers.
What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?
When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.