Law jokes

Why did the bee get into trouble?

Because he wasn't beehiving very well!

I recently got kicked out of a casino because I apparently misunderstood what the craps table was for.

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What is the most common crime in Asia?

Identity fraud.

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?

"Orange is the new black."

What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

"I'm alive!"

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?

Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.

Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.

Not to mention and by plane.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?

A book has papers.

What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?

At least outlaws are wanted.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?

I haven't been caught.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Yo, barber fucked up so bad he had to get a breathalyzer test.