Law jokes
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?
A. She had to go to GasTown.
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
Memes
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?
"Hi, nice to meet you."
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
Because they aren't wanted.
Why do orphans become criminals?
So they can become wanted for once.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.
Why did the chief go to jail?
Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!