Law jokes

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.

What does a gorilla attorney study?

The law of the jungle.

Why do homeless people commit crimes?

They get a bed in jail.

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

We should stop.

Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?

The boomerang!

Why do orphans become criminals?

So they can become wanted for once.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

Why did the prisoner run away?

To spit bars.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?

Answer: Insider trading.

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

What do you call a protest that gets crowded?

Human trafficking.

I don't call it arson. I call it warming up.

Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?

Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.