Law jokes

Hit 'em with the 1, 2, Jeffery Dahmer!

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

A: What did the lawyer say to the amputee?

Q: You haven't got a leg to stand on.

What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?

"Orange is the new black."

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.

He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.

*I have seizures*

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!

What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?

At least outlaws are wanted.

What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?

When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.

What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and a book?

A book has papers.

Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;

Why can't an orphan be a criminal?

Because they aren't wanted.

What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?

I haven't been caught.

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.

What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.