Law jokes

I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."

My doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15. Problem solved!

What do you call an orphan with parents?

I don't know... what?

Kidnapped. :)

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

I told the judge I thought she was unconscious before she woke up crying. The judge asked: "Why didn't you drug her again so she would forget?"

Babe, I'm breaking up with you.

Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.

I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.

What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

Only one is wanted.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

Why did the orphan rob a bank?

For he can be wanted.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

What's the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person? The handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.