New Law Jokes - Page 31 - Worst Jokes Ever

"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"

"Wait! I can explain everything!"

What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?

You can't run over a yellow line.

"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"

"Ok."

"What town did you grow up in?"

"Oral."

Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?

So that they can be wanted.

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

Why did Orphan become famous?

Because he didn't need parent permission.

What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?

Only one is wanted.

Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.

Q: Name a murderer?

Aborted fetus: My mum.

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?

P2: I don't know.

P1: Wow, you sick fuck!

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.