Law jokes
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!