Law jokes
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
"Sir, in court, all your answers must be oral, okay?"
"Ok."
"What town did you grow up in?"
"Oral."
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?
Only one is wanted.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
Why are orphans lucky? Because they don’t need a license plate because they don’t have a home.
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.