Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Law Jokes
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
What do you call a group of jumping Mexicans?
Border hoppers! LOL.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
What’s George Floyd’s favorite color? Neon black.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
When is a rape victim right?
When she admits she lied.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
Where do rape victims live?
In kennels.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.
