What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
