Law jokes
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?
They fight and... You know the rest.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the church.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The Priest... Let's go to my office, because I'm totally not a pedophile.
You know you have a domestic abuse problem when you beat your dick.
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.