Law jokes
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
What did one detective say to the other detective?
"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?
A small medium at large.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!