A man walks into a bar... Oww!
Law Jokes
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
"You suck. I don't wanna be married anymore ://////"
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
What is red, bubbling, and scratching at a window?
A baby in the microwave.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?
A small medium at large.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Chuck Norris gets pulled over by a cop, and the cop gets a ticket.
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
