Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."
Law Jokes
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Two hunters are walking in the forest together. Hunter #2 flops down, unconscious, and Hunter #1 dials 911.
Operator: "911, what's your emergency?"
Hunter no. 1: "The other hunter, hunting with me in the woods, fell asleep."
Operator: "Check if he's/she's (not assuming genders) dead."
*Operator hears a distant gunshot*
Hunter no. 1: "What do I do next?"
My life #freemymanrkelly
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What was the guitar teacher arrested for? Stringing a minor.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
