Law jokes
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
There's only one gender. Women are property.
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.