Law jokes
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation? A period. Why? Because it marks the end of a sentence.
These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says, "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says, "So, just eat the potatoes."
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being dark.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles? They are fucking immature kids!
What’s the definition of a pedophile, Tyler?
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
There's only one gender. Women are property.