Law jokes

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

How do you sex?

With penis!

Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?

Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?

A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."

What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?

It's none of your business!

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.

You and your mom.

I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."

I hate double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

I fucked my mom.

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/

Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

@shelby denver is a massive nonce.