Law Jokes

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"

The man said, "Okay."

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

Female Rights?

Me: Hi Jaiden.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: Leave me alone, weirdo.

Me: Wow, says the one who didn't pass 3rd grade.

Bully/Jaiden Harper: *hits*

Me: *calls FBI and puts on gloves and stabs random person then gives knife to Jaiden and takes off gloves* Bye bye.

FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!!!!!!!

What did the robber say to the clock?

Hands up!

If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

I give props to pedophiles.

They always go slow in the school zones.

My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.

Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

How do you sex?

With penis!

Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!

What did the policeman say to his belly button?

You're under a vest!

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.