Law jokes

See you later, crocodile.

In a while, pedophile.

Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?

Because Stellas hot.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?

My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.

What's the smartest crime?

3rd degree murder.

What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?

Answer: A hooker.

“Wills”

Are they a dead giveaway!

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

What is the difference between an American and an orphan?

They don't have a home to get their guns.

My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

She said no, so I raped her.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.

In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

I like my women like my family, they’re related.

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?