Law jokes
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
Gun control...
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?
Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
People who torture others for making bad puns should be severely punished.
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!
Some people think "prison" is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
I hate these double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.