Laughter jokes
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.