Language jokes
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
Why can't poor people write jokes?
Because they make no cents.
Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
weixian
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
Yo mama so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter O... OBCD.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
Want to hear a pun?
Well, I'll punch you with one!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?