One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
Language Jokes
Two guys are captured by native Chinese. They give them two choices: 1. Death. 2. 他妈的
The first guy: What's 他妈的?
The Chinese: Fucking.
The first guy chooses death.
Second guy to himself: Well, I'll let these sick fucks fuck me. At least I'll be alive...
The Chinese: Come on, we don't have all day.
Second guy: I choose 他妈的.
The Chinese: Ok, 他妈的 to the death!
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?
European.
Have you heard about the new Russian STD? Rottsmikokov.
What do the names Alan and Jordan have in common?
An.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
What does LMAO mean?
Launching missiles at orphanage.
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. Hehehehe😛😛😛
Poipole walks into a bar and says “poipoipoipoi.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, but in order to get takeout, you have to know how to speak a foreign language.” Poipole says “Pika!”
U geiy haha lol.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
1 + 1 = window.
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.
