Language jokes

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?

*Answer: Quatro Cinco*

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.

It gets really tense.

What did the sushi say to the bee?

"Wasuuubi!"

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver.

Oliver who?

Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹

What do you call a Mexican door?

Dora.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Sayo-nara.

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

What do you call an Irish lesbian?

A Gaelic.