Language jokes

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?

*Answer: Quatro Cinco*

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."

What did the sushi say to the bee?

"Wasuuubi!"

My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

What do you call a Mexican door?

Dora.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver.

Oliver who?

Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Sayo-nara.

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Alpha Kenny body?

Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”

No? Shame, it was real fun.

Why can’t English people play chess? They ain't got no queen.