Language jokes

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. The bartender says, "Don't you mean a Martini?" The Roman then says, "Look, if I want a double, I'll ask for one."

What did the sushi say to the bee?

"Wasuuubi!"

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."

I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!

A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."

Why are eggs bad at puns?

They always mix up their yolks!

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

I walked into a store, and I pointed a stick to the roof and said, "This is a stick up!"

My friend was annoying me with bird puns. I realized toucan play at this game.

I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver.

Oliver who?

Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹

What do you call a Mexican door?

Dora.

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

Sayo-nara.

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Why is arson so fun?

IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE

Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

Why tie when you can knot?