Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Africa spelled backwards is Acirfa, which means absolutely nothing. But Acirfa spelled backwards is Africa, which is a word.
What did the Asian people name their retarded son?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Say "eye," smell "map," say "ness."
(I am a penis!) HA HA!
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
M to de B, m to de B = master bate.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
What do you call a questioning Constanta?
Curious George.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Can you really wheel my real wheelchair?
Try saying that over and over fast. Bit of a tongue twister.
GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"
The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
You soak balls, get it?
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
