There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
You call it turds.
I call it the forbidden chocolate.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
What is half of nine?
"ni"
It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar? He said "Oola snack bar!" Oola means hello in Spanish.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
Why is there no phone in China?
Too many wings, too many wongs; might wing wrong number.
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
