Know jokes

I once saw a noose joke.

I wanna know how to make one :D

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?

A: All the rice is gone.

The only letters in the alphabet that you know are "KFC."

"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War.

Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?

Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:

"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."

Anyone know what bird that is?

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

Bro, the US keeps bullying the UK because the queen died, and do you know the meme "No Bitches?" Yeah, they put "No Queen" instead. And guess what? The UK replied this time and said, "No Towers?" I was shocked. UK's most devious lick.

Me: "The villain has a point, you know."

Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:

Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?

Dogs get loved.

How do you know when you're disliked?

When they always give you the camera for group photos.

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

What do Jesus and I have in common?

No one knows my real bday either.

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.