Know jokes

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

What do you call a guy named Kaiden?

I don't know, lol.

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?

They're calling it Finding Emo.

Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”

Person 2: “Seven.”

Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”

Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”

(Based on an encounter I had recently)

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

How do you know you had a gay cookout?

All the hotdogs taste like ass.

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!

Me: I got 60 kills!

My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!

Me: What's Call of Duty?