Know jokes

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

Why is my dad gone?

I don't know.

Life is like a game of chess.

I don’t know how to play chess.

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1

Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.

Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)

Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.

Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)

Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.

Mom: But what he did was wrong.

Girl: I know.

(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)

Mom: Is that ur dad.

Girl: Yes Mom

Comment Part 2

Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church.

You follow him in, and under their breath, it sounds like somebody says, "You steal." You say in your mind, knowing you have before, "I’m sorry." Then somebody coughs, and under their breath, it sounds like they say again, "You steal," so you whisper quietly, "I’m sorry."

...then somebody in German says, "Schieß den Hurensohn!"

How do you know if your wife is dead?

Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.

My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"

Me: "Your mom gay lol."

My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."

You: "Your mom gay lol."

Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???

A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:

Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."

Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.

How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny

Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?

There is no F in "orphan".

Exactly.

How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.