Know-how jokes

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.

What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!

What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.

Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

Why can't an orphan suck my nut?

A girl can, one knows how.

Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!

Guy: Do you know how to draw women's rights?

Girl: No, how?

Guy: All you need is a blank paper, and that's it.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.

Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

I once saw a noose joke.

I wanna know how to make one :D

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.