Custody

Custody jokes

Memes

Orphan

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

Husband

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

Memes

Bandit

Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion

The image shows two panels. The first panel is a nighttime image of police vehicles with their lights flashing. The second panel shows a close-up of a man with wide eyes and a shocked expression. Text overlay reads, "Roses are red. Lord give me peace. The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit has escaped custody and is being hunted by police." It is signed 'By: Seymore Butts Posted Feb 23, 2023'

Community

Time for a fucked up story with DP! We start our story with a 2 year old child, his parents divorce and obviously split custody. The mom gets him sometimes and the dad gets him sometimes. Seems fine right? Fast forward and now the child is 8, still the same thing, back and fourth between the two parents, UNTIL..the Dad figured out that whenever the child is with the Mom, the Mom dresses him up like a girl and calls h… Read more

GENESIS 42 Joseph’s Brothers Go to Egypt 1When Jacob learned that there was grain for sale in Egypt, he said to his sons, “Why do you look at one another?” 2And he said, “Behold, I have heard that there is grain for sale in Egypt. Go down and buy grain for us there, that we may live and not die.” 3So ten of Joseph’s brothers went down to buy grain in Egypt. 4But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with his… Read more

GENESIS 41 Joseph Interprets Pharaoh’s Dreams 1After two whole years, Pharaoh dreamed that he was standing by the Nile, 2and behold, there came up out of the Nile seven cows, attractive and plump, and they fed in the reed grass. 3And behold, seven other cows, ugly and thin, came up out of the Nile after them, and stood by the other cows on the bank of the Nile. 4And the ugly, thin cows ate up the seven attractive, pl… Read more