Know-how jokes
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.
Do you know how many women have been pope?
Nun.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."