Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
do you know steven is dead he doesent have a stone do you know how to find him a metal detector
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly but that is the invention of Bobsled peoples. And then Mark came in.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
"Know, know how there."
"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
