Know-how jokes

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.

You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?

Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?

I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.

Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?

I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

A blind man went to a restaurant.

"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.

The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"

Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.