Kill Jokes

Anonymous

You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the lysol didn’t kill.

Anonymous

What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common They both say “my moms gonna kill me”

Gabriel

I was reading the new and read that a kid killed his family and when they interviewed him he said he wanted to become Batman

Anonymous

the gas prices are going up that even Hitler is killing himself

1
Kiwi Keith

my new girl friend is a porn star she would probably kill me if she found out

T R Mortimer

These gags are killing me !

Yeet
in Chuck Norris

In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.

lol btw

my grandpa killed 100 german soldiers he was the worst german piolet ever

F...Feminazis

I can’t decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice …

2
Anonymous
in Emo

What’s the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

Anonymous
in Darkness

what does a pregnant 14 year old and her foetus? theyre both thinking; oh sh@t my moms gonna kill me!

Anonymous

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

clarityrulz

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

Morgan
in Depression

When someone tells me to kill myself

Panic! At The Disco: Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time

yo mama, oh wait...
in Orphan

How to get quick cash: Step 1: Kill a child’s parents Step 2: Do foster care for them Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care

Anonymous

People always told that if you killed a murderer that there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

sHiShKaBeCkY
in Depression

Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.

It's Me your boy

What do you call a white kid who kills another? Russia vs Ukraine hahaha

Anonymous

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish?” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish

Anonymous

what happens when a emo kid loses a kahoot he gets a 25 kill streak

6