Orphan

Anonymous

Why did an orphan kill ET To phone home

Percent

Anonymous

You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the lysol didn’t kill.

Chuck Norris

Anonymous

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

0

Stupid jokes

Anonymous

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? – A pool table.

0

Emo

Anonymous

what happens when a emo kid loses a kahoot he gets a 25 kill streak

3

Roast

Decella

I’d love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him…

5

Girlfriend

instagram niko_klyo_kia

so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it

Number

Anonymous

People always told that if you killed a murderer that there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?

School

Anonymous

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

2

Bus

Anonymous

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish?” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish

Shoulder

Nick Ger

How do you kill a downy

Put rat poison on their shoulder

Cup

Dacupheadlover666

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions???

Answer: Expresso!!! (KILL MEH)

Depression

Psych-yatrist

I told my Phsychyatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

Mountain

Anonymous

what is the most dangerous mountain? kill-a-man-jaro

Fell

Anonymous

Imagine if on April first the government says hahhaha you all fell for it covid19 is fake we actually killed all those people lol

Party

Anonymous

(Jokes for people with cancer) 1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don’t have to do this class anymore. 2: I’m dying, finally. 3: I’m sorry, I can’t go to your party because I’m expected to be dead by then. On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I’m getting checks. I hope for the best :/.

Darkness

Kill 'em with kindness

I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster

Gag

T R Mortimer

These gags are killing me !

Difference

NotAKiller AreYouACop?

What’s the difference between a Cop and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone it gets fired.

German

lol btw

my grandpa killed 100 german soldiers he was the worst german piolet ever