Kid jokes

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"

Because he had to take one.

Kid: Your mom!

Orphan: (cries)

When does a kid become an orphan?

When the parents leave.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer.

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.

Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

What are emo kids' least favorite lollies?

Life Savers.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.

What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!

Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.