Kid

Kid jokes

Story

    • A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

    But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

    “My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

    Pin drop silence in the class!

    "Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    “Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

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    • Drill

    • I live next to a kindergarten, and yesterday they had a fire drill. It was kinda weird because normally it's me who has a drill around little children.

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    • Kid memes

    Loser

    • Kid: Hi Mum!

    Mum: Hi, Loser!

    Kid: Why?

    Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!

    Kid: Waaaaaaa!

    I know this is not funny, but who cares?

    Adoption

    • Kid #1: You're adopted.

    Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

    Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

    Dwarf

    • I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

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    • Orphan

    • Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

    Teacher: What?

    Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

    Teacher: Why water?

    Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

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    • Cancer

    • So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.

    Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.

    Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?

    Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.

    Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.

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    • Sleepover

    • I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

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