Kid jokes
Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?
Answer: She’s dead.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.