Kid jokes

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

What game do emo kids love the most?

Hangman.

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.