Kid

Kid jokes

Job

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

Birthday

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

Orphan

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

Emergency

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

Trust

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Foot

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

Name

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

Grape

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

Man

What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.

Law

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

Jenga

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

Orphan

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

Christmas

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Life Support

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*