Kid

Kid jokes

Homework

  • So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:

    Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?

    Student: PIGS!

    Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?

    Student: SHEEP!

    Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.

    Student: IK where that comes from!

    A FAT COW! 😂😂

  • 1
  • Bee

  • These are bee puns.🐝

    I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

    I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

    (Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

    Cow

  • There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.

    The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"

  • 2
  • School shooting

  • Why are school shootings branded “very American”?

    1. They usually happen in the USA.

    2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.

  • 1
  • Zoo

  • I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.

    They never got together at all.

  • 0
  • Orphanage

  • Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

  • 3
  • Orphan

  • Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

    Teacher: What?

    Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

    Teacher: Why water?

    Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

  • 1
  • Wheelchair

  • The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.

  • 1
  • Child

  • Have a sink in your house? Eat it.

    Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.

    Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.

    ...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4

    Santa

  • Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.

    He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.

  • 1
  • Pitbull

  • Celebrate-By- watersharky Productions and Pitbull- Mr. Worldwide Let's celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. We've been around the world, same song. Work hard, play hard, all day long. All the continents get jealous over me. You can see me 3D overseas. If you know me then you know where to find me Off in the Bahamas with a bad one behind me. Now live it up, live it up, live it up Baby pick it up, pick it up, pick it up And we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up I've been patiently waiting for you to shake and shake it Make it or take it The point is we made it Courted by the game, call us Tom Brady And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator All around the globe, matter fact see your later They're great, we're great at world war, dominators And we're also some smooth operators, and we gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom That's the way we like to play We gon' Boom boom around the world Boom boom no kidding girl Boom boom that's the way we like to play I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Turn it up Live it up (Live it up), don't let life live you (Live you) It's a good time (Good time), so we give you (Give you) Now live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up, live it up What you wanna do? I just wanna celebrate. I just wanna celebrate. Tonight we're making history. I just wanna celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate. Turn it up Let's celebrate.