Kid jokes

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

What do you say to a depressed special kid?

“Why so down?”

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.

A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂

Why did the emo kid not cross the road?

He was waiting for a car.

Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!

How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.

What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.

What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?

Quiet kids.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.