Kid

Kid jokes

Principal

    • Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

    Kid: “Whatever!”

    Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

    Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

    Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

    Kid: “Oh well!”

    Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

    Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

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    • Orphan

    • Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.

    Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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    • Santa

    • Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

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    • School

    • I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:

    "Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."

    ....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.

    RIP Meh Soul.

    Kid memes

    Orphan

    • At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

    Mom

    • A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"

    The son: "I don't know, can I?"

    The mom: "May you?"

    The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"

    Orphan

    • Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

    The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

    Suicide

    • Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

    10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

    History

    • So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

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    • Class

    • There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

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    • Mask

    • I was wearing a mask and told the teacher I ate her vagina. She said what? I pulled my mask down and said, "No, I said I like your hyenas." Then a kid sees me do it, but he only heard the first part, so he goes up to the teach and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight." She said, "Pull your mask down," and he pulls his mask down and says, "I'ma fuck you tonight."

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    • Sleep

    • This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

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