Kid jokes

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?

The child has no trouble shooting.

Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐

Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.

He won’t stand against the three of us!

Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!

My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.

Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

Vegan Teacher the musical.

Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?

“A sped runner.”

What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.

What number is better; 46 or 47?

I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.

What do you call a white kid who kills another?

Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.

What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?

Hanging out.

Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?

A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏

Why can’t Helen Keller have kids?

Answer: She’s dead.

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.