Kid jokes
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.