Kid jokes

What do you call a white kid who kills another?

Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

Dark humor never dies!

Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.

The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.

The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"

Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.

A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.

"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.

"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.

"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."

Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:

"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"

So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:

Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?

Student: PIGS!

Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?

Student: SHEEP!

Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.

Student: IK where that comes from!

A FAT COW! 😂😂

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.

Follow for candy, kids.

Like for pizza, kids.

Comment for kids.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?

TIMMAHHHH!

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

Yo, so poor that you wash your paper plates and cutlery in a kids' dishwasher.

Why did KFC take orphan?

Because kids fattening center.

I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.

Why do kids like to pick on orphans?

Because they can't call their parents.

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?

Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.