So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat he is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with “what do you mean I already did it” then the police ran back to the school to aprehend the other people he was planing it with the cops busted in through the doors which caused a smoke trap to go off which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles 4 per pole. Back to the station holding the kid being apprehended. the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said “Aww it pays to be lazy!”

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple because the emo kid got caught by the rope

what’s the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid

Depends who’s shooting

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, “Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?”

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

What do you call an asian kid who’s bad at math?

An orphan

Teacher: your bag is heavy what’s in there!

Weird Kid: Magazines

If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems will it be a Concentration Camp?

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back

Why can’t two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don’t make a white

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “Ive kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.” The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

My pregnate wife said we were gonna name the kid digorno. She wouldn’t tell me why until she got an abortion and told me its not delivery its digiorno.

What does Mrs Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin kids.

What’s yellow and can’t swim

A bus full of kids

What’s a depressed kids favorite holiday… Christmas because everything is hanging

kid asks "what is dark humor?" me points"see at that guy across the street…" kid:"i can’t… I’m blind" me:"exactly "

Why doesn’t Hellen Kellers kid have ears? She gave it it’s first hair cut!

Kid: hey dad whats dark humor ? Dad: go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him . Kid: but dad I dont have any legs or arms . Dad: exactly son.

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