Kid Jokes

Why can't two Asians make a white kid?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

🤣

A meme with two parts. The upper part is a dialogue between a kid and a mother about dark humor. The mother tells her kid to tell a man without arms to clap. The kid responds he's blind, and the mother says, "Exactly." The bottom part shows a man in a sports uniform being interviewed in front of a football field at night. The text on the image says, "They had us in the first half, not gonna lie."

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?

A 9mm.

Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?

Cause they don’t know where home is.

An apple and an emo kid fall off a tree at the same time. Who hits the ground first?

The apple, because the emo kid got caught by the rope.

So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."