Hears the news about Sandy Hook Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives… Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:… Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back
On a hot summers day a famous celebrity tweeted " it is a beautiful day and I`m deciding which kid to have fun with today" to which the local priest replied " I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today".
So theres a orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”
So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test? Drool
what do you call a kid with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor
A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up fuck.
What’s the difference between drugs and kids?
I don’t sell drugs.
What is a dead kid’s favorite anime? Bleach.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school bus full of kids.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common? An expiration date.
Why doesn’t Hellen Kellers kid have ears? She gave it it’s first hair cut!
how do asians name there kids?
they throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
A starving homeless kid ask me for food
I said “sorry,my plate is full”
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn’t get what he wanted. I told me friend there’s a new attraction a few states away he could take him too. Confused my friend asked me what it was. I told him “The Sandyhook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a ‘hole’ lot of fun.”
When the school shooters finally leaves your class room but then the autistic kid next you sketchers light up
Pickup line; Hey mama you school? Cuz I’d like to shoot some kids up in you
what is the difference between the rook and the bishop the rook goes straight while the bishop fucks the kids
What is David Bowie known for when making music, he gets his beats from his kids