Kid Jokes

what do you call a autistic kid who just saw transformers, autistimus prime

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."

Name Something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister SWEET HOME ALABAMA

What do u call a group of depressed kids

Suicide squad

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

one day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed " YoUr AdOpTeD!" he said "yeah I know my REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!” Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?” Source: http://jokesfan.com/little-johnny-jokes.html

Why did the legless kid think he won a race?

Because everybody already left.

There was a kid named buttitches and his teacher was taking attendance. then the teavher asked"what is your name"? And he answered "buttitches" Then the teacher asked again "what's your name" and he replied buttitches. Then a student yelled out "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY"!!

Q:What was hellen kellers favorite game as a kid A:musical chairs

I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way

What's the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

My friends mother thought a kid who had autism and downsyndrome. He called him a “double down”

What’s the difference between dark humor & morbid humor?

Dark humor is ten kids in one container; Morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.

Me (I like kids)

Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone. Then, the birthday boy said "Hey, he's like my dad." "Really" asked a little girl? "I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."