A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him “why are you late?” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake” Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him “why are you late” and he replies “I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake”, The last kid walks in and the teacher says “why are you late?..and why are you wet?” and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn’t real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

what happens when a emo kid loses a kahoot he gets a 25 kill streak

My nickname should be night light…because kids turn me on…

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won’t stop complaining about their mom

there’s three kids: little drop, little feather, and little brick. Little feather goes “mommy why do u call me l’feather”? She answers “cuz a little feather fell over your head when u were born”. L’drop asks to his mom “mommy why do u call be l’drop”? She answers “cuz a little drop fell on your head when you were born”. L’brick goes " aafddkcasgbklcdahjkcbgtnhrfn"

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?

Because she loves raisin kids.

So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!

Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why are you doing that?

Dad: So you won’t get bored there

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, what’s so sad and she said “What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died”. I replied “probably a bullet”, she gasped and said “do you have any idea how insensitive that is, what do you think is running through their parent’s heads”, I said " probably all the money their losing from this funeral".

Kid:what is between moms legs? Dad:paridise. Kid whats between you legs? Dad:the key to paridise. Kid:well uou better change the lock the neighbor has the key to.

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar- just kidding.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves… just kidding he hasn’t opened it yet

Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.

So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport???

•terminal

man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.

Loading...