Kid Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom

what happens when a emo kid loses a kahoot he gets a 25 kill streak

Stephen hawkings is such a bad role model for our kids

He only ever looks one way when crossing the street

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport???

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What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves........ just kidding he hasn’t opened it yet

Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “what ever you wish for comes true once you slide down”. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money, he then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee”!

A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?" One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy." A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!" "Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"