Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Why did Ms Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
Me walking in to the office: Principle: tell me what u did? Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was a end portal....
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, " What is a tragedy?" One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "if my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy." A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!" "Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
Stephen hawkings is such a bad role model for our kids
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white and secondly they both get turned on by kids.
What's a depressed kids favorite holiday.... Christmas because everything is hanging
What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.
Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
kid asks "what is dark humor?" me *points*"see at that guy across the street..." kid:"i can't... I'm blind" me:"exactly "
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have it's perks.... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport???
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