Kid jokes
how do u make a emo kid jump? a bridge.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?
What do Catholic priests and school shooters have in common?
They both like to dump their loads into little kids.
Who is the best at musical chairs?
The kid in the wheelchair.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."