Kid jokes
What do you call your kids?
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: (cries)
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.
There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
What do you call something that eats kids?
An upset mother.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
Kid amogus backwards.
SUGOMA DIK!