Kid jokes
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
Who robs and breaks into people's houses?
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Kid finds genie lamp, wishes to be Batman.
Genie: You're now an orphan.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.
Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!