Kid jokes

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.

Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.

Dad: Are you gay?

Kid: Yes.

10 days later.

Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.

Dad: I thought you were gay?

Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.

Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.

I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"

What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.

What did the kid say to the orphan?

"Well, at least I have parents!"

Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!

Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!

Kid with mother: Your mom!

When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.

I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.

I asked a kid where their parents were...

Lol

Me: Where's your mom?

Kid: [cries]

Me: [leaving from the adoption center]

The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.

What did the tree say to the depressed kid?

"Stop hanging around."

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."