Kid jokes
I got a GTR yesterday, now my kids say, "GTR we there yet?"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.
Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
Hi! It's the kid with another dark joke! On this episode: Orphans!
Memes
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?
Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.
Why does the emo kid skip class?
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Kick the chair out from under them.
Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.